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  • Protected: Austin, Allstate Says You Suck at Driving

    17 February 2009

    Austin drivers are better than Irving drivers, yay? Austin, according to the 2009 Allstate America's Best Drivers Report, our city ranks second to last in the state for safe driving, only behind Irving, TX. Allstate ranks 193 of America's largest cities according to car wreck frequency and Austin earned the 179th spot and News8Austin notes that Austin drivers are "44 percent more likely to be in a wreck compared to the national average." How is this true? Austin, tell us in comments- why do we suck so much at driving? Is it because there is too much awesomeness to visually stimulate us? Is it because we're all on vacation ...

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  • Protected: Most Expensive Beer Run in History?

    17 February 2009

    Going on a beer run, can I have $14k? Juan Carlos Maldonado aged 31 (not 19... again, not 19) attempted to steal cases of beer from the Randall's on Exposition Blvd. not one, not two but three times within ten days. Attempt number one and attempt number two involved Maldonado leaving the store with cases of beer and being asked for proof of purchase at the door (to which his response was a fast sprint to the parking lot). Third time's a charm? Despite Maldonado's genius plan to bring a man and a woman as clever distractions, Randall's management recorded the license plate numbers of their van as attempt number three ended in the arrest of ...

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